Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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