Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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