My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
