I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
