We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
