My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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