Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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