what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
