Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
