i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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