I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
