Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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