that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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