I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
