dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
