Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
