Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
