It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
