Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
