No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
