A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
then he tried to convert me to islam
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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