if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
