i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
