Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
