i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
