Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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