Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
