i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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