you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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