WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
