I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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