Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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