I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
