He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
