i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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