this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
