it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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