Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
