I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
