Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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