you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
