The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
