the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Boobs are out for the taking
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
