should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
