I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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