How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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