if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
