why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
