We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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