just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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