i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
