I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
