I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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