Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
